Day 3: Retail Therapy

I ended up having a rather nice day, once I forced myself to get out of the apartment. It was filled with retail therapy.

I went back to Compatto to return some unused yarn I had and ended up spending way too much money on these beautiful skeins.

The five ruby colored skeins are Rowan Lima for this cowl/shawl I might make while the multicolored one is Misty Alpaca in colorway "Red Rover." I need bright, cheery colors to keep me happy these days.

After a late BBQ lunch, I headed over to the Michael's in Santa Monica to pick up some stamp making materials, to try out this online tutorial.

 I'm really excited to try it out-- if my test stamps work out well, I'll go back to Michael's later this week to pick up some large carving blocks.

I then headed over to Barnes and Noble to kill time before going over to the Culver City crafters. While I went there looking for Euphamania, I found Walking LA, instead.

I'm excited to try out the different routes in this book! I'm going to do my best to try a different route each week--hoping to go through all of them by the end of the year. We'll see how far I get.

Finally, I met up with my friend, Josh, and we wandered into Bird Pick Tea & Herb Shop. There, we met Jennifer who walked us through the ins and outs of dozens of different teas. She was lovely and super helpful! We both went a bit crazy with our tea purchases and we couldn't be happier about it!

Here's hoping that tomorrow goes as nicely.

Day 2

I woke up feeling lousy today. Possibly because I've barely eaten the past couple of days, possibly because I slept for 9 hours straight. Whatever the reason, I knew I had to do something to snap out of it immediately.

I decided that it was finally time to finish unpacking from New Jersey. I started unpacking my room a few months ago, going through about 4 shipped boxes and 1 suitcase. But I still had two suitcases lying around, two full boxes, and several garbage bags filled with various things from back East. So, I put my clothes away, rearranged the items in my bookshelf, and started putting attaching things to the wall. I'm not fully done decorating, but I'm almost there.

I also managed to get some more knitting done, too. The rows are starting to take a while to get through, even though the ball of yarn doesn't seem to be shrinking very much.

Breakups are awful. I really thought I had met the boy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Have kids with. Grow old with. Last week I was telling him that in forty years from now, I'm still going to want to be cuddling with him! Ha! Now it just feels like I'm left with a big pile of garbage.

Day 1

I feel like my relationship ended because of this:

I've been trying to keep myself busy by knitting this:

And enjoying a thoughtful gift from my best friend:

Starting Now...

Nick and I broke up. He doesn't want to take the CA Bar Exam. I don't blame him for that, but I also don't want to continue to be in a long distance relationship with no end in sight. I also don't want to give up a great relationship with my family to move back to NJ to be with a boy who is willing to let me go because he doesn't want to study for 2 months and sit through a 3 day test, even though it would open up a lot of job opportunities for him, in addition to bringing us one step closer to getting to spend our lives together.

People move cross country for love all the time.

People do much harder things than study and take licensing exams.

I guess he doesn't think a life with me is worth it. That... sucks. It really truly sucks but what more am I supposed to do? He knew from the first time we met that I would be moving to CA. He's the one who talked me into staying for the summer. He's the one who talked me into staying together after my move and working to make long-distance work.

I've done everything I can to be a great girlfriend. I call, I send random care packages for him and his family, I participated in his fantasy football league (I hate football -_- ). I knit personal gifts for him and everyone in his immediate family, all 16 of them. I make and send cookies, I made him a journal, sent pictures. I was also super laid back and wouldn't get upset at him if we didn't talk for a few days. I never took him away from his friends. I would listen to him complain about work and his life and all that. I would read over his writing for his script. I showed him a great time in LA back in January. I showered him with affection and love.

I really genuinely thought he was different. That I had found my partner.

I feel like an idiot for loving him. For putting so much work and effort into making him feel special. For trusting him with my feelings.

Brief Recap

It's been over two months since my last blog post. I've been busy.

First, my college friend, Nance, came to visit and stay with me for a few days in early December. We had a blast vegging, catching up, trying different restaurants, and yarn shopping (my favorite was/is Unwind in Burbank).

She even helped me finish all my Christmas knitting and baking so I could ship everything out to NJ before the holidays.

A few weeks later, my wonderful boyfriend came to visit me in Los Angeles. He arrived on New Year's Eve and stayed until the 9th-- officially the best start to a year I've ever had. We did a fair amount of site-seeing (Hollywood, Santa Monica, driving through Beverly Hills, The Grove/Farmer's Market, Universal Studios, the Getty Center), but the best parts of the trip for me were when we read out loud to each other (Freedom by Jonathan Franzen) and watched movies together (Blue Valentine and Black Swan at theaters, Going the Distance at the apartment).

I was sad when he had to go back to NJ but fortunately I have wonderful family here to keep me distracted, along with studying for the Bar Exam, of course.

That last picture is from my typical study space at the Pepperdine Law Library in Malibu. I guess I shouldn't really complain when I have that to look at whenever I lift my head from books.

The bar exam is in 10 days. I better kick its butt this time. -_-