Thursday, August 16, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

I've been terrible about writing lately. I've been even worse about knitting.

The past two years have been incredibly challenging for me.. graduating from law school, falling in love, studying for the bar exam, moving across the country and back with my family, getting my heart smashed, looking for jobs, accepting a job for my family, working my butt off in that job, getting over the past and falling in love again.

I've spent the past two and a half months working full time for my family and part time for an attorney up in Big Bear. Now that my one-year commitment is just about over, I'm beginning to transition into full time work up there and just a few days per month down here.

I've found a beautiful house that I love and can't wait to move into. I've already started moving some of my legal books up to the office. I'm setting up all the different services I need to fully move in after I get back from the east coast.

These changes are exciting. And scary.

Within the first month of working at my current job, I was unhappy and knew I was going to be throughout the rest of it. I was correct. And yet, despite knowing that, despite knowing that I needed to find something else, getting back into my own profession, I was paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. It felt easier to stay in an unhappy, and at times seemingly abusive, job than to go out and face the rejection that felt like was waiting for me.

I'm so incredibly lucky that my new position worked out the way it did because I never would have looked for this type of position in the location where it's at. I would have looked back in LA, or at least in the LA county area and would have missed out on the great opportunity I've been giving.

Instead, I get to live in an adorable house in an adorable town. I get to work with a partner who respects and values me, with secretaries who free up my time to work on substantive matters. I get to work directly with real people and I get to help them solve their problems. I get to go to court. I get to work on a variety of different matters. And at the end of the week, I get to spend the weekend with the most incredible man I have ever met.

I'm incredibly grateful for the lessons I've learned during this past year. I'm also excited and hopeful for the new challenges I am going to face in this new phase of my life.

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